The day Antonio walked into my Café I knew things were about to change. He had this presence about him, and I could see shadows in his eyes of things I could never understand. But he was like a force of nature, taking what he wanted, when he wanted. He was big, strong, and had eyes the color of the finest chocolate. Everything he made me feel, scared the hell out of me. When he opened his mouth, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to slap him or kiss him, he made every nerve in my body come alive. But, I have a secret. I didn’t want to let him go but its better this way. I have let enough people down in my life so, I tried to distance myself, and push him away. I never thought I could love, or trust, any man after my father left, but Antonio was here to prove me wrong, and he wasn’t going to back down.
Kitten: Antonio was determined to take me to my knees and crack me wide open.
Katherine was the kind of woman you could only ever dream up in your wildest fantasies. A woman who oozed sex kitten with every sway of her hips, and she had the attitude to go with it. With hair like fire, and eyes as blue as the sky on a clear summer’s day, that body of hers I swear had a direct line to my cock. Then, she pushed me away, but I don’t go down that easy. I didn’t get to where I am today without fighting tooth and nail for it. Katherine was mine and no matter how long it took me, I was going to make her see she belonged to me, just like I already belonged to her. I know she is hiding something, I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at me. I don’t care what I have to do, or how long it takes, I will find out what it is. My kitten isn’t the only one with secrets.
Antonio: Katherine brought me to my knees, and I was going to take her down with me.
After slamming my bedroom door shut, I dive on the bed, and bury my head in the pillows, hugging the teddy bear from my father close to my chest while trying to block out the screaming going on downstairs.
“Why would you think it’s ok to take your little sister to that party?” Mom yells.
“Mom, nothing happened.” My sister’s words sound slightly slurred.
“That’s not the point. You’re older, you know better than this, and instead of looking after her you got drunk and left her to fend for herself.”
“So, I’m not supposed to have fun because I have to look out for her?”
“You’re supposed to take some responsibility and look out for your sister”
Pushing my head deeper into my pillows so I can’t hear them anymore, I wish I could take back telling mom where I was because I know my sister will turn this around on me. It’s always the way. Suddenly, my door flies open. Ashley, my sister, is standing in the doorway with a pissed off look on her face.
“This is all your fault. If you had kept your mouth shut, none of this would have happened.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think mom would have been home from work.”
“You’re the reason everything has turned to shit. You’re the reason daddy left and now mom says we have to move back to Newcastle. You’re the reason I won’t be able to see my boyfriend anymore. When are you going to stop being mommy’s little girl and grow the fuck up?”
She rushes at me and I cower. She grabs me roughly, digging her nails into my arms. I cry out as I feel her nails break the skin
“My friends are right about you, you’re pathetic and ugly. No wonder you have no friends.”
“That’s not true I have, Brooklyn.” I defend myself in a weak voice.
“She won’t be your friend when she finally wises up and sees how pathetic you really are.”
I gaze through tear-filled eyes into the eyes of my sister, not recognizing who she is anymore. Ever since daddy left, she has been different. I use to look up to her and wanted to be just like her when I got older. With her beautiful blonde hair and tanned skin, size 8 figure. She’s perfect. Me? I have fiery red hair, pale skin and curves.
Her words hurt every bit as much as the things she does to me. I feel like I owe her, not being the good sister she deserved. I’m not clever like Ashley either. I do okay in school, but I’m not the smartest person. I don’t have a lot of friends. I have Brooklyn and when we don’t have school we’re constantly together. I’m not sure how I’ll cope if we move away from here.
I run my finger over the recent cut on my wrist hidden under my watch, Ashley looks down and notices what I’m doing.
“Why don’t you save us all the trouble and do it already, I’m sick of hearing you cry every night. You’re broken and that will never change.”
She pushes me back onto the bed and I watch through tear-filled eyes as she leaves my bedroom. I wait until I hear the door shut before I crawl under the covers, pull my diary out, and let the worthlessness I feel out.
Why did I open my mouth, why do I ruin everything I touch?
It’s all my fault. If only I was a better sister, maybe then Ashley would like me.
No wonder daddy left. I’m so pathetic.
I vow from this moment on, the only person I will trust is Brooklyn until she realizes I’m not worth the trouble and she walks away too.
I will build a wall around myself, one brick at a time, and keep pushing forward.
I will try to be stronger than the blade I hold in my hand.
I hate myself.
I’m scared but I have to be strong not just for me but for my beautiful daughter, after years of being emotionally and physically abused it needed to end.
I always wanted a love like the fairy tales I was told as a child, a love like my parents had but after escaping hell I lost all hope.
Trusting another man and falling in love was now the last thing on my mind, making it through everyday was now the new goal for my daughter and me.
Then everything changed the day I looked into the most captivating green eyes I have ever seen, it was like they saw into my very soul.
And I knew nothing would ever be the same again.
I was brought up in a dangerous world, a world I had to quickly become accustomed to.
It took my brothers death and the events that unfolded after that lead me to be the man I am today a Mob Boss.
One of the most powerful man in Newcastle, I’m not a good guy, I have done bad things.
I closed my true self off the day I failed to protect the one person I loved dearly, and she paid the ultimate price.
But one look into those ocean blue eyes and I felt my whole purpose in life shift, I didn’t deserve her but I was going to make her Mine.
I had finally found the missing pieces to my heart I didn’t know I was missing and I wasn’t letting them go…
Angel: “I WANTED TO BE THE LAST THING HE TASTED AT NIGHT, AND THE FIRST THING HE TOUCHED IN THE MORNING”
Dom: “SHE BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEES, AND I NEVER WANTED TO GET BACK UP”
I live in Newcastle, on the New South Wales coast of Australia with my husband and three beautiful children.
Between being a taxi for my children, and working full-time, I somehow find the time to write. It’s something I love with a passion and with the encouragement of my very supportive husband, I have accomplished one of my dreams – releasing my first novel.
I hope you fall in love with my characters as much as I have.
I love reading and getting lost in a good book when I manage to snatch five minutes to myself.